Helping Adult Kids: New Norm, or New Dilemma?

On Fox & Friends, I recently weighed in on the headline-grabbing phenomenon: parents saving not just for the college years, but planning to support their children well into adulthood. The catalyst? A Wall Street Journal story featuring parents stashing $1,000 a month, not for tuition, but as a launching pad for their daughter in her twenties and beyond. As I shared on air, there’s really no universal “right or wrong” here. The key for families is separating the emotional pull of wanting to help from the discipline required to protect their own long-term financial security.

In our practice at Victory Independent Planning, with clients from coast to heartland, we’re seeing this “extended support” become part of the new normal. Nearly 60% of today’s parents with kids aged 18 to 34 report providing financial help—ranging from phone plans and home repairs to vacation costs. And while some might fret that this is new-age coddling, the numbers tell a more pragmatic story: since the 1980s, housing costs have quadrupled, medical care is up sevenfold, and college and child care aren’t far behind. Meanwhile, wage growth has barely nudged ahead of inflation. It’s no surprise the classic milestones—moving out, career, marriage, kids—have become far tougher to achieve: where 45% of young adults reached all four back in 1974, only 21% can say the same today.

The other, often overlooked driver? How families save. A generation ago, parents with pensions rarely dipped into them for a child’s new roof; today, with IRAs and 401(k)s, the boundaries are blurrier (and the temptation greater). My advice on national TV matched what I tell clients: this is less about softness, more about responding to modern economic realities—just make sure your own financial future stays healthy, even as you lend a hand. Generosity is admirable, but so is planning with both head and heart.