Build Independence in Your Retirement Plan

In today’s world, multigenerational living is on the rise—but not always by choice. As more adult children invite aging parents into their homes, the challenges and anxieties of being a “burden” are moving from dinner table taboo to family reality. As I shared with Kiplinger for their article, “One of the most universal goals I hear from retirees is: ‘I don’t want to end up a burden on my kids.’” This desire for autonomy gives rise to an essential principle for modern retirement planning: the rule of self-reliance.

Practically, this rule means planning—not just for comfort, but for flexibility and resilience. It starts with the basics: crafting a spending plan that can adjust to changing circumstances, rather than overspending right out of the gate. I often advise clients to use adaptive withdrawal strategies (like the ‘guardrails’ approach), scaling back in down markets or when unavoidable big-ticket expenses hit.

But self-reliance isn’t only about guarding your own lifestyle. As I noted to Kiplinger, there’s a tricky balancing act when it comes to financially supporting adult children. “About half of parents now financially support their adult children, often to the tune of $1,400 a month. While generosity feels good, ongoing support can drain your resources and, ironically, increase the chances that you’ll need to lean on your kids later.” In other words: help wisely, set boundaries, and remember that today’s gift shouldn’t become tomorrow’s need.

Perhaps most important is having honest conversations—early and often—with both your partner and your family. Preparing estate documents, communicating your wishes, and keeping a practical inventory of important contacts and accounts can prevent confusion or crisis-driven decisions later.

Bottom line:

Self-reliance isn’t about going it alone at all costs. It’s about making intentional choices today—spending wisely, supporting family with boundaries, planning for care, and nurturing your health—so you can enjoy retirement on your own terms, with better odds of preserving both your freedom and your relationships for years to come.